At the
Washington Wizards – Charlotte Bobcats game, no less. You kind of forget how tightly knit the politically active wing of the conservative legal movement is, but of course it makes perfect sense that the former Attorney General and Alberto Gonzales’ former chief of staff were seated beside each other within striking distance (so to speak?) of our own seats.
The Mighty Eagle and Pasty McPudgy were accompanied by a brown-hued compatriot who sported the perma-grin of an End-Times true believer, a burly and sweaty roughneck who looked like a friend of the family cum bodyguard, and a couple of grotesque blondes who looked like Oompa Loompas crossed with leprechauns. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. 
I was tempted to pepper my occasional outbursts at the refs and players with thinly veiled references to the
disgrace that Ashcroft, Gonzales, and their ilk have brought upon our Justice Department. I backed off, not because of the bodyguard, but for fear of getting my friend and I permanently banned from the arena. Authoritarian vengefulness is a hell of deterrent.
Observation: Ashcroft will check out cheerleader ass when it passes by. Not in a cute and appreciative sort of way that says, "I'm happy to perform an archetypal female worship role, for the sake of team unity." But rather, in a glazed-over "I'm staring straight ahead so no one notices me looking at cheerleader ass" sort of way. Does this humanize Ashcroft? No. It just makes him an utter hypocrite.
Wiz Notes: 1) The Wiz put in a valiant effort in their loss, with their two top scorers—Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler—out with injuries. 2) At times, Etan Thomas appears unstoppable. Coach Eddie Jordan should think about isolating him with the ball more often. 3) Bobcat Adam Morrison is the coolest looking player in the NBA. Hey, Adam: 1971 called. Fog Hat and Blue Oyster Cult want their look back.
